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Leading people

Delivering Feedback

5 lessons · ~27 min total

01

From accurate to actionable

~6 min

Turn feedback that's true but vague into something the other person can actually act on.

Key takeaways
  • Accurate feedback states what's true; actionable feedback states what to change.
  • Actionable feedback = a specific behavior + its impact + a concrete alternative.
  • Behavior + impact without an alternative is a complaint, not coaching.
02

Situation, Behavior, Impact

~5 min

Use SBI to deliver hard feedback so it lands as an observation, not an attack.

Key takeaways
  • SBI = Situation, Behavior, Impact, anchor feedback to a specific moment.
  • State observed behavior, not your interpretation of it, observations are hard to dispute.
03

Handling a defensive reaction

~6 min

Keep a feedback conversation productive when the other person pushes back, minimizes, or gets defensive.

Key takeaways
  • Defensiveness is a threat response, not proof your feedback was wrong.
  • Acknowledge the reaction and get curious before restating the specific behavior. Curiosity de-escalates.
  • When someone reframes your point into an extreme, name the false choice and return to the one behavior you raised.
04

Affirming vs. developmental feedback

~5 min

Balance affirming and developmental feedback and choose the right moment to deliver each.

Key takeaways
  • Affirming feedback makes good behavior repeatable; name the exact behavior and its impact, not just “great job.”
  • Keep affirming and developmental feedback in separate conversations; the sandwich teaches people to discount praise.
  • Praise the behavior, not the person: specific beats flattering.
05

In the moment vs. saved for later

~5 min

Choose when feedback should be delivered on the spot and when it should wait for a private, calmer moment.

Key takeaways
  • Feedback loses power as it ages: default to within a day or two, one on one.
  • Go immediate only to stop live damage, and even then repair the situation in the room, deliver the personal feedback in private.
  • When emotions are too hot, name the delay out loud instead of letting the feedback quietly expire.
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Delivering Feedback

In a 1:1, you tell a report their demo ran long and rambled. They say: "Everyone goes over sometimes." What is your best next move?

Start Delivering Feedback.

Your first lesson takes five minutes, and you can do it right now without an account.