Leading people

1:1s & Coaching

5 lessons · ~35 min total

Whose meeting is it?

~7 min

Run a 1:1 as your report's meeting for their growth and blockers, not your status check on their tickets.

Key takeaways

A 1:1 is your report's meeting for growth and blockers, not your status check. The board already gives you status.
A repeated cancel for 'nothing to discuss' is a signal to investigate: often the slot has become your status check, sometimes nobody ever said it was theirs.
Put your report's agenda first and your own items last; ownership is what makes the meeting their space.
Agenda ownership is theirs, but coming prepared is still yours: bring the feedback and context they cannot get elsewhere.

~8 min

Resist handing over your answer so your report builds the judgment to reach their own.

Key takeaways

Every answer you hand a report takes away the rep that builds their judgment, and keeps you the bottleneck.
Coaching trades a little speed today for capability tomorrow; reserve direct advice for urgent or high-stakes moments.
Open questions (what/how) surface a report's thinking; leading and yes/no questions just deliver your answer in disguise.
Questions only work when the person has the raw material to reason from: supply a missing fact, then go back to asking.

~7 min

Open a difficult 1:1 topic with curiosity so it lands as a shared investigation, not a verdict.

Key takeaways

The opening of a hard conversation decides whether the person shows up as a collaborator or a defendant.
Open with an observable pattern plus a genuine question, not a verdict. Curiosity surfaces the real cause before you prescribe.
State what you observed, not your interpretation of it; interpretations invite a debate about intent.
A real explanation does not end the conversation: name the cause, then agree what each of you will change.

~7 min

Turn coaching conversations into lasting change by capturing commitments, following through, and connecting weekly work to a growth arc.

Key takeaways

Insight is cheap; follow-through is what compounds. Development happens in what you do between the 1:1s.
End a coaching moment with a concrete, owned commitment and a date, then open the next 1:1 by revisiting it.
A goal repeated louder still evaporates; only a specific action with an owner and a follow-up loop turns talk into change.
A commitment nobody checks is a wish with a date on it: your follow-up is what makes it real.

~6 min

Hand over meaningful work at the right level of autonomy, and resist taking it back.

Key takeaways

The work someone owns is the scope they grow into: delegate one level above comfort.
Name the autonomy level out loud: gather, recommend, decide-and-tell, or own.
Judge delegated work against the constraints, not against your version, and let it ship different.

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